1. |
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[incoherent screaming]
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2. |
t.f.r.e.d.u.x.
04:24
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a facsimile/ that resembles perfection/ hall full of mirrors/ dusty and covered with sheets/ these putties i sculpt with/ they mottled and greyed/ this toxic high standard/ influence, that they’re sure to blame/ bodies hung high upon crosses of neon/ dead long before daylight, but just look how they sparkle/ live fast and die dumb, leave a beautiful corpse/ when your only worry is vanity there’s no space for remorse/ hold the weight of the world, leave you dead on both shoulders/ sisiphysian cycle but your persona’s your boulder/ eyes half-closed, chin up/ strike a furious pose/ just make sure i’m in frame when i’m removing my clothes/ warm, loving partner/ cold, vapid whore/ whatever purpose/ i must endure/ leave me unfollowed/ i can’t be more/ screaming red flags/ we all ignore/ heart more than broken/ shattered to dust/ there is no love here/ there’s only lust/ you cannot know me/ try if you must/ you cannot know me/ try if you must/ and when one mask fell off/ there was one in its place/ insincerity hydra, always hide my true face/ leave me used and unwanted when you can’t take any more/ there’s red splattered on the walls/ i’m cold and limp on the floor/ sing me to sleep with artillery serenades/ never know my next move never pull my grenade/ i’ve heard, every word that you could use to degrade me/ did you really think calling me two-faced would phase me?/ truth is i’m so much worse get out while you still can/ dear child i will only hurt you/ get out while you still can/ oh, what a pity / say it once more with feeling/ oh, what a shame/ savor the tears in your eyes/ oh, what a pity/ say it once more with feeling/ oh, what a shame/ you have a death wish my darling/ oh what a shame/ fix your aim take your shot.
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3. |
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home in my head/ this skin doesn’t fit like my own/ damages done with noble intentions/ but the hallways collapse/ but now i’ll never be home/ i can’t get out/ walls/ empty rooms/ trapped between/ hallways that never end/ the drywall/floors/ cobwebbed/ never closure/ in the cellar/ cut down to size/ by your insipid desire for the hands of your peers/ you’ll miss recognition/ you’ll never see the floorboards/ you’ll have only your name /different on the outside/ but it always ends the same/ i can’t believe/ from the book of navison/ you won’t see the light of day/i can’t believe/ falling/ that i live like this/ if i never hit the bottom i’ll never find my way.
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4. |
abyssal
03:38
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now that i think of it, i don't know that i could remember a single one of their faces/ not that it matters now, the only thing that does is where i am/ once this ends, this will end up in the hands of someone i trust/ that's you, i guess/ and like that, my preparations are complete/ my life's work, it’s all happening now/ with one final glance towards my sweet emma and the sky behind her, i close my eyes, i hold the chair close and ease myself backwards into the deep/ it’s cold, but i don't mind/ i think i can feel the pressure changing, welcoming me home, the embrace of my great old one/ down/i only wish that i could see more/ i think my mask is cracking/ soon, i will meet the ocean face to face and when the darkness rushes in to meet me, we will become one
and i will grow larger than you will ever know i will become another beautiful, beautiful monster/i woke up from a dream about drowning to a daydream about drowning/ no matter my state i long for my lungs to be filled/choke me out, take me down, just give me a way to hold fast/ i’ve been sinking all my life let my corpse float/ drop me out past the boundaries and clip through the crust hellbound/ this was never going to be enough/ i need to much i take too much/ i am too much i am too much/ good hell, good bye.
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5. |
the third beside you
02:09
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i’ll always be more than the sum of my part/ and this crumpled chest holds more than one beating heart/ my break is cohesive, multiply to survive/ new pilot step forward when one has to hide/ i can’t face this alone/ this vessel is what we call home/ i won’t face this alone/ our will is stronger than most/ we will hold this weathered body together with ends of frayed ropes we wont let ourselves be eroded/ we will fill our heart with a love only we can know/ we have built homes within each other founded on understandings that we don't have to heal alone/ unbounded we are whole/ unbounded we are home.
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6. |
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no more red carpets to the deep fryer.
a hell too many know/ what if i spent my life/ 13 hours on shattered toes/ on walls that i hate/ 800 feet of rusted chains/ what if/ to make sure i can’t run away/ it’s all i can do/ your performative allyship makes me sick/ company license plate, go eat shit/ i’m giving up, i’m leaving forever/ turns out this spilled blood was just a worthless endeavor/ have i lost my mind/ is it just the heat?/ gnashing teeth all night/ i’m refusing to sleep/ why am i still here/ can i let this go/ is it the only/ home i’ll ever know/ have i lost my mind/ was it ever there/ have i lost myself/ do i even care/ you don’t even know my name as you tread on my throat/ on the road to my new home/ i can’t catch my breath/ i can’t bear to see those steps/ what if that’s all i have left/ to see the next few days laid before me/i will not go i will not fold/ i will make sure you know my name/ i will give more/ you can check my tone/ you can see it in my eyes/ i don’t want to die for this/ screens on every wall, won’t you be my sun/ never seen the window because there’s blood in every hall/ little gifts, little pieces of me/ clocked your movements but you thought i wouldn’t notice did you/ every other friday/ i fall/ and the bars get closer/ and my dreams get farther away.
from a second story window (x6)
i’m sorry/ it’s already been a year/ and i still can’t bear to speak your name/ i never lost the words/ i just never found the time/ but everything everything everything from my hands/ carries the memories of you/ i never got the chance to sit for your eulogy/ something else came through my walls/ and kept me apart that day/ but i won’t let that break your rest, i’ll keep you around all the same/ i don’t know if i can keep facing fathers/ when i won’t speak again to their sons/ fuck/ this year, in love and in living/ there’s never been so much blood on my teeth/ by the end of this year i’ll wear my new scars/ proudly and through gritted teeth/ i’ll carry you with me as long as i’m alive/ i can feel you next to me/ i swear i’ll carry you with me/ like brothers with memories ahead
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The World in Broken Glass Chicago, Illinois
Miserable, angry and excited to be here.
Chicago Skramz
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